Transformation

 So this is a little fragment of something I was trying to write a while ago. Sadly it's the only thing that is left of the short story so enjoy. I thought this would be a little better than a poem since it's a little longer. Enjoy!

                It’s twisting around like a hurricane, being torn apart piece by piece only to be put back together like a blank puzzle depicting nothingness... filled with memories of sorrow I can no longer recognize, while the blood slowly drips as if it were sand in an hourglass. Painfully poisoning my mind with clouds of what I want but can never have... of what I desire most but am not allowed to own, clouds so cruel since they won’t even shed a tear for what’s left of myself. Yes... that’s what this is, a funeral... my funeral... and I’m both the deceased and the mourner, both the victim and the murderer, both the body and the grave. Is it too much to ask for a little sympathy, for a little rain, for a little music before I go, or is this the price to pay for my sins? What is this thorn in my chest that won’t let me die? I’m hopeless... prolonging my life would mean prolonging my suffering... oh torturous fate. What would it take for my mind to stop working, for my soul to stop hoping? It seems to be out of my control now. Damn you if you won’t let my die then I’ll live and I’ll bear this monstrous pain in my chest because I can. Because I may be a fool, I may have lost all hope but I am not weak and for the sake of the strength I once held I’ll push forward until I’ll break. No! I’ll push even after I break, I’ll push with every limb and every piece of my worn out body until it’ll shatter. So what if I’m broken? I can still drag everything down with me and I will. If the world took away everything I had I’ll take the world and bury it with me, if not for revenge at least so I won’t become lonely. I’ll destroy everything because everything is worth destroying and because I can. I have nothing to lose anymore. I see now what this world is and I see that there are no more lights at the end of the tunnel. The world does not need heroes... it needs villains because anyone can rise and become a hero, but who is willing to let himself fall and sacrifice himself to wake up that ray of hope? Who can give himself in to darkness? Nobody! I’ll become that nobody because, now, I have nothing to define me. I’ll be the chaos to give birth to order, I’ll be the storm that cleanses the air and I’ll be the evil that defines the good. Yes... because I can... not because no one else could... but because I can. I won’t heal this broken heart of mine... I’ll expose it as grotesquely as I can, I’ll use it to bring terror, I’ll use it to paint a nightmare and I’ll use it to preach hopelessness. Who would’ve thought a broken heart can bring so much joy... Now, all I need is a drop of insanity and I’m good to go. I’ll spiral downwards and I’ll enjoy it for I will not be alone, I’ll take this malfunctioning world with me.