NaNoWriMo Extract: what do you think?

I figured I'd post this up here, see what everyone thinks. I'm 8000 words into my novel already, which means I can relax a little over the next couple of days and get my poems and commentary fully finished. But I want to post an excerpt up here and get your opinion on it - it's never too early to start editing, after all...

---

The head chef's name was Elbin. He was a tall man with a bulging belly and a terrible temper. He accommodated everyone in his kitchen so long as they didn't disturb his cooking, and if they helped out and showed some promise, his stony exterior warmed a little and he showed them a few skills.

This day, however, he wasn't warming to anyone. The guards had just returned from the courtyard, Forley shouting at them as he marched them down the hall. Many of them sat down in the mess hall, although a few of the younger ones slunk through to the kitchen to help cook and serve, or else simply to get away from the yelling.

“You couldn't even capture one old man!” Forley roared, his hair practically aflame. “What are you paid for? It took the king himself to bring Galvan down – if you can't protect him from Galvan then what good are you?” Everyone was sullenly looking at their own feet, trying to to incur the wrath of Forley's flames.

“You couldn't capture him either,” Elbin heard one of the young guards mutter from behind the counter. Forley must've heard it too, because his eyes flicked to the serving window where one of the young guards, who couldn't have been older than sixteen, had removed his helmet and was scrubbing the counter top before the huge soup vats were lifted onto it.

“You doubt me, boy?” Forley cried, his body engulfed by flames again. He lifted a hand and hurled it forwards, throwing a ball of fire at the young lad, who could only stand and stare in shock as it approached him.

There was a clang. The fireball erupted into an explosion of heat, and died down again as warm air flowed into the kitchen.

Elbin put down the pan he'd used to deflect the fireball.

“I think that's enough, Forley,” he said. “I don't slap your guards around, you don't hurt my cooks.”

“They're not cooks!” Forley practically screamed. “They're guards!”

“Not in here they're not,” Elbin replied coolly. “Now, get out of here. I don't serve people who attack my staff.”

Forley looked as though he were about to yell at Elbin, or possibly attack him. But instead he cooled off, the flames wafting from his body as he turned and strode from the room. Elbin looked down at the kid, who stared back at him in shock.

“Come on,” he said. “As punishment, you can help clean the soup vats tonight.”